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This column is part two in a series, and part 1 can be found here.
B&W was like no place I had ever worked before. There was a 401K and an Employee Stock Option Program. Every month there was a company-wide meeting where the managers would cook the entire staff a home cooked meal, and they did not skimp.
For instance, this is what we all got served during the August 2012 company-wide meeting:
Employees also got substantial bonuses twice a year. But that's not all - there was a full size soda fountain. A completely free full size soda fountain.
Everything about the place screamed "we care about our employees", and at the center of it all was my seven year old hypothesis come to life, a gentle, self-described "lawn gnome" with a white ponytail named Joe Works.
I quickly set out to figure out how Joe Works had become Joe Works. After all, if my hypothesis was real, maybe it could be duplicated. Maybe it could even be duplicated in Bourbon County.
It was here that I hit a snag - the secret of B&W's success was the patented turnover ball trailer hitch. Joe had invented it, patented it, and turned it into a premium product sold at a premium price.
That whole idea seemed mythical and totally impossible to an IT guy in his early thirties. Despite being the son of a serial entrepreneur, the basic concept of "find problem, engineer solution" was at that point beyond me.
In one of my favorite movies, Back To The Future, mad scientist Doc Brown discovers the key to time travel - the Flux Capacitor - in a vision after he slips in his bathroom and hits his head on the toilet seat. I imagined the turnover ball hitch had come to Joe through some similar, serendipitous cosmic accident, maybe a farm-related one.
To an already bored with his career IT guy (though I was not yet consciously willing to admit that yet), such a "EUREKA" moment happening to me seemed all but impossible.
About 9 months into my short tenure at B&W, my awesome boss broke the worst news possible to me. He had fallen in love, was getting married, and was moving...to San Antonio.
As for his replacement, I'll say this: I've had many great bosses in my IT career, and only one I would classify as "not so great". However, I also think it's important to preface this next part by noting that this was 14 years ago, and people change and grow over time (Lord knows I have, as this series will attest to).
That being said, my new boss was, at least at that time, a massive micro manager whose communication skills were non-existent. Tension slowly started to come to a head as I tried my best to figure out what he wanted without him actually, well, saying what he wanted. Had I been psychic, perhaps it would have turned out differently.
After the Thanksgiving monthly meeting that year (really good steak - thank you, Joe!) followed by a very nice Christmas bonus check, I sauntered back into our office and was asked to close the door. I was then read the riot act.
There was no build-up to this, no warning, it just...happened. I wasn't fired, I wasn't even written up, I was just...berated, to the point where I, a 32 year old, 6'6" father of two literally started crying.
(Writer's note - if you're new to the site, I've discussed in the past how despite being built like a refrigerator most of my life, I often found myself targeted by bullies.)
Afterwards, I drove home, blubbering like a baby. I called my Dad and told him that between the bank and now this, something was obviously broken with me.
We had just moved to Uniontown three months prior, and I had excitedly volunteered to host the family Thanksgiving dinner that year.
As it happened, my wife and mom ended up being the ones to do the actual hosting while I spent the entire weekend in my bed depressed. After the holiday meal, my dad came in and asked me what had happened at work.
I told him, in detail, and his response was simple: "That's bullying." This was unexpected - I had expected him to blame me just as I had blamed myself (I also had my share of daddy issues back then).
Instead, he was genuinely upset at how I had been treated. He told me I needed to go into work early the following Monday and see the HR Director.
And so I made arrangements to do just that. I went in around 6:45 that Monday morning and laid out everything that had happened the previous Friday afternoon.
"That's not bullying." the HR Director said. I deflated like a balloon.
He then called in my boss, who gave me some phony rah-rah pep talk about how he knew I had it in me to succeed at the job, and that he knew I could meet his entirely unspoken and therefore completely unattainable expectations.
I felt completely helpless, and absolutely stuck. There was no way I was gonna stick around, but if I didn't, then what? I felt tears start to well up again.
Then - and there is no way to explain this other than to just explain it - I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and as clear as a bell I heard, in my own voice, "You're going back to school." After that, I felt pure peace - like the entire garbage last four days had never happened.
Over two years earlier, prior to leaving Atkinson Industries, I had started taking classes at Labette Community College, thinking maybe further education was the key to fulfillment in an IT career. Atkinson was willing to pay for it, and being someone who was technically a high school drop-out (I mean, I got my G.E.D. right after I left high school, but still), the idea of having a degree had appeal to me.
And so, I said my heartfelt goodbyes to my B&W coworkers in an all-staff email right then and there - I even thanked my boss to seem magnanimous - and headed out the door.
What I didn't know then was that the guy who ran the Network Administration program at Labette knew even less about network administration than I did, and I didn't know jack.
Part three will publish next week. Also, I realize this entire part took place while I was 32 and that the title of the series is "How I Nearly Bankrupted My Family At Age 39", but I promise we do a lot of time jumping forward in Part 3.
